Three years had gone by---three very curious years, indeed. He jumped into himself with all the swanlike grace of divers, slippery and slick-----very hermetic. What was the result?, he pondered as he traced his steps back to the beginning. At such a small place he was certain that he must've walked the same paths hundreds of times, in a heedless repetition, a droning cavalcade that was probably like playing a vinyl record with a snuffed out turntable needle. Was this it? Was this the famed moment that had earned so much consternation? Was this that invidious split in time between adolescence and adulthood? The production five years in pursuit led to nothing but the massive influx of doubt and questions that left his mind brimming over with the frothy foam of apprehension. He knew that if he turned back to look at the results of his wake, it would be like deciphering the memories of a rubbed out photograph that became some denigrated thing by force of the merciless sun.
Thousands of cups of coffee, potentially tens of thousands of cigarettes, and an incorrigible number of libations later, he straightens his tie for one final act: disappearance.
Thousands of cups of coffee, potentially tens of thousands of cigarettes, and an incorrigible number of libations later, he straightens his tie for one final act: disappearance.
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CHAPTER ONE: MY NEW COMPANION
In those final moments, I wondered whether anything could be experienced together or if we were isolated to our individual perspectives. Could there be that moment in which by force of some alignment of the stars, language became complete? I traced my footsteps with a new companion. These were ill-fitted times for new companions--the number of characters in this chapter exceeded the quota. This new companion would enter my life and then leave it in an instant. In those short moments together, could we express some true thought? Could we share a stark revelation of the clearest meaning? The sun raced its shadow and the day came to a close. In the familiar quiet of the night, I traced my steps and she with me. It wasn't long, I thought to myself. I knew the number of steps we had left before it was the inevitable moment of good-bye. Language was rising and boiling at that point, bubbling over into a crescendo. I had scribed a thousand phrases in my mind and was prepared to deliver each with constant fluency and deliberate elocution.
Before any of my words materialized, however, I had noticed that we had already said good-bye. I watched her disappear into the distance, along with everything else, like it was all being vacuumed into a source to which I was not allowed--or perhaps no longer allowed. I yelled out for her. I would never know whether, perhaps, she turned back and tried to yell out to me as well.
In those final moments, I wondered whether anything could be experienced together or if we were isolated to our individual perspectives. Could there be that moment in which by force of some alignment of the stars, language became complete? I traced my footsteps with a new companion. These were ill-fitted times for new companions--the number of characters in this chapter exceeded the quota. This new companion would enter my life and then leave it in an instant. In those short moments together, could we express some true thought? Could we share a stark revelation of the clearest meaning? The sun raced its shadow and the day came to a close. In the familiar quiet of the night, I traced my steps and she with me. It wasn't long, I thought to myself. I knew the number of steps we had left before it was the inevitable moment of good-bye. Language was rising and boiling at that point, bubbling over into a crescendo. I had scribed a thousand phrases in my mind and was prepared to deliver each with constant fluency and deliberate elocution.
Before any of my words materialized, however, I had noticed that we had already said good-bye. I watched her disappear into the distance, along with everything else, like it was all being vacuumed into a source to which I was not allowed--or perhaps no longer allowed. I yelled out for her. I would never know whether, perhaps, she turned back and tried to yell out to me as well.
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CHAPTER TWO: VACANCY
My very vessel had become farewell in these final days few numbered. The weather had paled into inclemency, shifting at the prerogative of imperial clouds that would occasional allow coruscating beams of light shed between their gargantuan ligaments. I would spend entire days in an existential phase shift, drifting between utter isolation and crowded pandemoniums. Saccharine memories lingered in my mind still, like stubborn residue, and made the stillness inside of me resonate with a trembling fury---a deep resonance like the grinding of tectonic plates.
My very vessel had become farewell in these final days few numbered. The weather had paled into inclemency, shifting at the prerogative of imperial clouds that would occasional allow coruscating beams of light shed between their gargantuan ligaments. I would spend entire days in an existential phase shift, drifting between utter isolation and crowded pandemoniums. Saccharine memories lingered in my mind still, like stubborn residue, and made the stillness inside of me resonate with a trembling fury---a deep resonance like the grinding of tectonic plates.
